One of the questions I’m asked most often is: “What weight should I be lifting?”
And I understand why.
Walk into a gym or search online and you’ll find people lifting weights from tiny pink dumbbells to ones that seem enormous, and far too many very confident opinions about what you should or shouldn’t be doing.
Here’s the honest answer: there isn’t one correct weight for every woman over 40.
The right weight depends on the exercise, your experience, your joints, your injury history and how challenging the final few repetitions feel.
I know that just makes it sound more complicated, but keep reading for a straight forward guide.
Start with a weight you can control
When you’re new to strength training, your first priority is learning the movement.
Choose a weight that lets you complete the exercise with control, without holding your breath or changing your technique to get the repetitions done.
That might be a pair of 2kg dumbbells for one exercise and a heavier weight for another. Lower body exercises often allow you to use more weight than upper body exercises (because your legs have way more muscle than your arms, so they’re much stronger).
There’s no prize for choosing the heaviest weights in the first session.
You’re learning what the exercise should feel like, building confidence and giving your body time to adapt.
Use an 8-12 repetition range
A simple way to choose your starting weight is to work within a repetition range.
Let’s say your programme asks for 8-12 repetitions. Choose a weight that allows you to complete at least eight controlled repetitions, but makes the final few feel challenging.
You shouldn’t feel as if you could easily do another twenty repetitions. But you also shouldn’t be losing your technique or feeling any sharp pain.
A useful guide is an effort rating out of 10:
- Around 6: Comfortable, but you’re aware you’re working
- Around 7-8: Challenging, with a few good repetitions still doable
- Around 9-10: Very difficult or close to your maximum effort
For most general strength training, you’ll spend a lot of time around 7-8 out of 10. You don’t need to reach your absolute limit every session.
When should you increase the weight?
If you can complete three sets of twelve repetitions with good technique and the effort feels below about 8 out of 10, that’s a sign you could probably increase the weight next time.
You might temporarily drop back to eight or nine repetitions with the heavier weight. That’s completely normal.
Progressive overload doesn’t mean making every workout harder. It means gradually asking your body to do a little more over time.
You can progress by:
- Increasing the weight
- Adding a repetition
- Adding a set
- Slowing the movement down
- Improving your range of motion
- Using a more challenging variation
- Taking more control over the exercise
The weights don’t have to increase every week for you to be making progress.
Women often underestimate what they can lift
I see this all the time. A woman starts with 2kg or 3kg weights because she’s worried about getting it wrong, and within a couple of weeks she’s wishing she’d bought something heavier.
That doesn’t mean starting light was a mistake. It gave her time to learn the exercises and build confidence.
But it’s worth remembering that strength training isn’t about proving you’re delicate. Your body is capable of adapting when you give it the right challenge.
You won’t accidentally become bulky because you moved up from 3kg to 5kg. You’ll simply give your muscles a stronger reason to adapt.
What if you don’t have lots of different weights?
You can still progress without buying a complete rack of dumbbells.
You might increase repetitions, add an extra set, slow down the lowering part of the movement, or choose a variation that challenges you in a different way.
A backpack filled with books, resistance bands or household objects can also provide options while you work out what equipment you want to invest in.
You don’t need a perfect home gym to get stronger. You need a plan and a way to progress it.
Your next step
Don’t get stuck waiting for the perfect weights.
Choose something you can control, work within a sensible repetition range, and pay attention to how the final few repetitions feel. Over time, you’ll learn much more about your body and your capacity than any generic equipment guide can tell you.
If you’d like a progressive programme that takes the decision-making out of your hands, Strength Essentials gives you structured sessions and exercise guidance to follow, and can be done in the gym or at home.
If you’re completely new or unsure how to adapt exercises around your body, you can start with my free 2 Session Strength Kickstart or book a free coaching call.
The “right” weight is the one that challenges you enough to adapt, without making you feel overwhelmed or unsafe. And as you get stronger, that answer will change.